My New Breakfast Obsession


I am embarrassed I am even posting this but

Just kidding.  Last night was the first time I tried a Miller High Life.  Don, I love you, but next Easter you can bring the unopened Miller home with you.  It is not, as it would have you believe, the champagne of beers.

Also, I never have, but if I’m going to drink beer in the morning I’m going to have this –

Not the least of which because it makes me think of this –

Bucket List (partial)-

See Kremlin
Own a Farm
Finish Revising One of the Novels
Don’t Skydive
Drink Baltika in the Morning

(Russian nesting dolls?  Really Jaime, is that all you got?  It’s all I have, Internet. It’s all I have. By the way, Internet, why don’t you have a picture of Russian men doing that thing where they link arms and drink tea with linked arms? Huh? Huh? In semi-related news, if you are a Russian man with friends, could you do this and send me a picture, please and thank you. )

After all that, allow me to unveil my real new breakfast drink obsession

Orange Juice Spritzer

Here’s why I am embarrassed –

  • It is a very common drink I just happened to never have tried
  • It is stupid easy to make

Here’s why I am going to post it anyway –

  • I would completely turn up my nose at orange juice with ice in it, but this I love.
  • I get depressed when I order juice at a restaurant and they bring out that little, little glass, and I’m like, is that all I should have?  Damn.
  • Since 8 ounces of orange juice is 110 calories, it really is all I should have, but I can have a big ol’ glass of this for 55 calories.
  • If you happen to be anemic (why would you happen to be anemic?  I don’t know.  I’m not your doctor.  But if you’re a woman, chances are decent that you are.  Want to check?  Rub a gold ring on your face for 10 seconds.  Has to be gold and has to be on your face.  Did it leave a mark?  Yep, you’re possibly/probably anemic.  This works, I am not just trying to get you to rub a ring on your face.  Really. ) Anyway…if you happen to be anemic, the vitamin C in this will help you to access the iron in your breakfast or the iron tablet that is 250% of the daily recommended iron dosage that you have to take twice a day.  Actually, I think that’s just me.
  • It is eerily reminiscent of Orangina, which I fell in love with while I was visiting Europe at age 14 because they sold it on my tour bus (what?) but Orangina has HFCS in it.  Tear.

Here’s what you need –

Um, yeah, ok obsession was the right word, yes? But a scale makes this so much easier I promise. If you’re not spritzer OCD you can just eyeball it.

4 ounce orange juice
4 ounces club soda

Padding alert –

Did you really need instructive photos on how to pour this into a glass?

I’m sorry.

This drink is so beautiful –

even the sun was like “I will shine on you like the beacon of hope that you are”……or someone just placed it in front of a sunny window.  You decide.

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