National Eggs Benedict Day

*Yawn* *Stretch* *Snuggle dogs*

*Begin thinking obsessively about food*

Is this your every morning too?

So for those of you who follow The Pioneer Woman or just happen to have an exhaustive catalogue of food holidays memorized or at your fingertips, you know that today is National Eggs Benedict Day.

My first thought when checking my email (already in the middle of this post) and seeing Ree’s blog post was, “That cheeky slattern beat me to the punch”.  Ok, Ree is neither cheeky nor a slattern.  She is adorable, and I love her blog.  I also happen to love using the word cheeky.

What Does Jaime Love More, Round 1
Ree Drummond – 0
Using the word cheeky – 1

Additionally, I’ve been trying to bring back the term “slattern” in a big way.

Because “slovenly trollop” should be reserved for those times when you need to impress people with your assonance.  In related news, does my assonance look fat in this sentence?

Anyway, upon reviewing her technique I decided to go ahead with mine because mine is not a true Eggs Benedict but a play on it, an Eggs Bacon-dict, if you will.  Our hollandaise methods are completely different.  Mine is single serving and only calls for two tablespoons of butter vs. two sticks.  And finally, eggs benedict is hardly cutting edge.  It’s been a hang-over cure of choice for decades, before that cheeky breakfast taco came barging in.  (No offense, breakfast taco, you know I love you.  I just wish McDonald’s hadn’t co-opted and cheapened you.  My own culinary Angel-is-a-Centerfold moment. But, you’ll always be tops in my book, BT.  On an almost relevant tangent, wouldn’t a breakfast taco made with pork cheeks – an actual cheeky breakfast taco – be kind of ridiculously boss?)   Ahem, wandering back. Hey there, Eggs Benedict – one more interweb recipe isn’t going to hurt you none.

Hollandaise –

single serving – recipe adapted from TCB/escoffier

1 egg yolk
2-3 tablespoons of butter (depending on your taste), cut into small chunks
1 tablespoon water
1 squeeze of lemon
cayenne and salt to taste
hot water to thin as needed

Get a very small pan.  Smaller than this one –

Chasing the egg yolk around the pan means you're going to run more risk of scrambled egg hollandaise. Not what we're going for.

Put the water, lemon juice, egg yolk, butter, and tablespoon of water in pan.

Don't be like me - cut your butter up. That way you don't run the risk of cooking your egg yolk before the butter is incorporated. Yeah, that almost happened.

Turn the pan to medium flame and whisk, whisk, whisk.  Once the butter has melted and the sauce is thickened take off heat.  If it is too thick, thin with hot water.  Add cayenne and salt to taste.  

Set aside in a warm place.

Eggs Benedict:

1 egg
1 slice of bread (I used a beer burger bun)
2 slices of bacon
salt and pepper to taste

Put bacon in another small pan and place, cold, on the burner and turn the burner to medium.  Meanwhile, toast bread in toaster/toaster oven/under the broiler/over a campfire/whatever.

Once bacon is crispy, lay on bread.  The toast will soak up the extra bacon grease that would normally drain on paper towels making the whole thing more delicious.

If you're a lil' piggy like me, make two. Then later, you can smack the halves together and have the most ridiculous breakfast sandwich ever.

I like poached eggs, but that’s just another pot.  I already got a pan out.  Imma use that. If you like eggs fried in bacon fat, simply turn the flame down on your pan to as low as it will go, wait 60 seconds and fry them in there.  If you prefer them fried in butter as I do, just wipe the bacon fat out after turning down the flame, wait 30 seconds, add enough butter to coat the pan, fry egg.

(To fry an egg simply crack egg directly in pan, wait until the inner whites have just set. For over easy, flip with a spatula or using the sides of the pan, and cook 30 more seconds.  If you’re French, you don’t want any color on the egg.  If you’re American, brown is the new white).

Lay egg on bacon-ed toast.  Douse with hollandaise.

Proof of my Francophilia



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